I love black thongs
I want to have your abortion
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
