just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
