well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
