the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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