where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
