so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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