i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
