I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize