why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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