Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
