Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
