Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
