But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
