Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
