he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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