So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
