I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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