what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
