I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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