Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
