If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize