She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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