"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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