How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
