im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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