I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Are my feet made of real feet?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
