what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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