i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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