My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Enjoy the penises
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
