those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
