Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
