is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
