i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
