Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
