I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
