He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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