my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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