he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
