she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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