My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i believe in u and ur pee
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
