never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
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