i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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