she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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