im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She's the barista slut.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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