I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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