if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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