Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
