Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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