Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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