return my video game
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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