I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
