we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
