After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Welp...herpes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
