Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
