I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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