but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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