Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize