why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
