My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
