The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
