We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
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Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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