My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
