I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
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She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
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I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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