btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
